Sadness

October 30th, 2005 by inah-u

out of every sad experience that i’ve had, comes this entry… somehow i only get to write when i feel down. i don’t know if that’s even normal.

i’m back in the great city of Makati after a two week vacation in my hometown of Bacolod. While there,i realized a lot of things… It was back home where i felt the feeling of belongingness. I went back to the station where i used to work before and still i felt the warmness of their welcome. i felt like i was one of them once again. i miss the place where i really felt comfortable with those working there…where i knew everyone… where i felt teamwork. it’s really different being home. though i encountered some problems, it really never botherd me since i was in the company of those comforting me. at last i was home. then the end of two weeks came. my last night was truly emotional. mommy hang had dinner at home, as per request of my grandmother, i was already feeling a bit sad but the night had to end as well so i had to bring her home. i wrote her a letter and i asked her (mommy hang) , to read it… but she refused. she was about to hug me before she went down the car i stared and said no… it was then that i started to cry.  she hugged me tight and said “girl.. you’re going to back in december…” i knew… but the moment was just to heavy for me to bear. in that letter i told her.. “had i not decided to resign this december… i don’t know how many more heartaches i would experience having to go home and leave after a few days. what torture!” indeed! it was a tourture for me having to see them cry and have sad faces everytime i leave for manila. to this day, i feel depressed. now, both having to leave my friends and home, at the same time, having to say goodbye this december.

I talked to lucky the other day as well… i could feel her sadness having one of our friends resign as well, when i told her i’d only be up to december i saw her shoulders slump. i know i could be strong about other things but i don’t have the heart to see my friends sad…  i guess they just have so much impact on my life… i can’t continue writing at this time…

till my next blog!